I came home from Australia a month ago and ever since then I have been struggling to feel happy. It was an incredible trip, I met some amazing people, I ate delicious food and dove the Great Barrier Reef. I should be on a high but instead, all I want to do is sleep. I’m feeling completely unmotivated, I don’t even want to finish writing in my travel journal which is so unlike me. I just want a break from the world. Why do I feel like this? I did some research, as it turns out post-travel depression is super common.
I had just gone from seeing some of the most incredible sites of my life to going back to my usual routine. My usual work, cook, sleep, clean schedule feels that much more stale now. When I had left I was feeling ok about my life at home. I had just moved into an apartment with a girl friend, and I felt freer than I had felt since coming home. But now everything about home makes me want to leave.
Contributing to my Post-Travel Depression
It doesn’t help that nobody really wants to hear about my trip. Everyone asks how was it but beyond that, they don’t care because they don’t understand it. They don’t want to hear about how the trip changed you or how your view on the world has shifted. They ask out of courtesy and as casually as if I had gotten a new job. Can’t they tell this trip gave me life?
I met up with my cousin last week, she asked if I had any more trips planned and I told her I had applied for a job in Antarctica and if that didn’t work out I was considering moving to New Zealand. As soon as I saw the look on her face I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. She looked horrified at the prospect of me being gone for so long. A tiny part of me had this sick urge to laugh at the expression on her face.
Australia was my first major trip in over a year, I think most people thought it would cure my wanderlust. I think they assumed that this trip would be enough for me to want to stay home, that all I needed was a trip every couple of months to satiate my ever growing desire to travel. Instead, this trip lite a fire in me. It reminded me of my passion for travel.
My Need to Travel
Because of this post-travel depression, I have been really thinking about what makes me happy. Why do I miss being ok the road more than I miss being home?
I never feel more like myself than when I’m on the go. Travel is my addiction. I love the high of walking around a new city, taking in the feel of a foreign place. Is it scary to be in a new country completely by myself? Of course it is! But at the moment I don’t feel afraid I feel alive.
At home, I feel like a round peg trying to squeeze into a square hole. I don’t fit here, I’m forcing myself to stay, to be happy in this “normal” life that I have created here. Like many other travelers my goals, my dreams do not fit in with the norm. I don’t want the white picket fence life, I want to see the world.
If you’ve ever had to have this conversation with your friends and family I’m sure you know the “are you kidding me” face they make when you try to explain how you feel. I am incredibly lucky that my mom and my best friend support my traveling lifestyle but they do not understand it. And beyond them, my friends and family react as you would expect. I am met with “But how will you afford to travel full-time?” “Won’t you miss your family?” And my personal favorite “You know you have to settle down eventually right?”
I wish I had a good response to any of these questions but I don’t. To be honest I have no idea how I’ll afford to travel forever. A year or 2 I can save up for, I can plan for but will I be happy to come home after a year? I’m finally being honest with myself and saying no I won’t be. Staying close to home scares me more than anything else. I don’t want to get stuck here wondering where my life went.
Where do I go from here?
I am now sure of my decision to travel, but how do I deal with the post-travel depression while I work on all the details. Due to a number of circumstances, the absolute earliest I could leave would be October and that’s only if I get the job in Antarctica. So what do I do until then? How do I find happiness in the day to day until I am able to leave again?
The best and only plan I have is to take 1 long weekend trip a month. I have to get out of western Massachusetts as much as possible. Luckily within a 6-hour drive, there is a lot to see. Within 3 hours, I can get to Boston, New York City, Newport Rhode Island, Cape Cod, Burlington Vt the list goes on.
If I have something to look forward to and something to plan maybe I won’t feel so suffocated here. I know I sound like an ungrateful brat, but trust me I am incredibly grateful to be able to travel I’m just struggling at the moment.
Talking to other travelers seems to help as well. At least they understand why I feel like curling up into a ball and crying at the monotony that is my life at home. Fellow travelers understand the desire to up and leave at a moments notice, no real plan just a dream. For now, I will just keep dreaming of the adventures that lie ahead waiting out the months until I can leave again.
I always love to hear from my readers but right now especially I could use a little help to cure this post-travel depression. Feel free to send me your favorite photos from around the world! And if you have any weekend suggestions within a 6-hour drive from the Springfield, MA area send em my way!!
